For a limited time, Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy is free for Kindle, Nook, and on Smashwords.

The price for Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You has been lowered.

Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel is now available for Kindle.

10: Mazes and Monsters

9. The ‘burbs

8. Joe Versus the Volcanano

7 to 1: There aren’t any other good Tom Hanks movies

So the new issue of Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens only costs $6.95 to buy it on Amazon and qualifies for that whole 4 books for the price of 3 promotion.

I’ll try to link to a bunch of other new books that also qualify in case you want to take advantage of the deal.

Well, first there’s my own book: Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You

It seems like all of the New Bizarro Author Series books qualify:

Vince Kramer’s Gigantic Death Worm

Constance Ann Fitzgerald’s Trashland A Go-Go

Justin Grimbol’s The Crud Masters

Troy Chamber’s Seven Seagulls for a Single Nipple

Michael Allen Rose’s Party Wolves in my Skull

Spike Marlowe’s Placenta of Love

Eric Beeny’s Lepers and Mannequins

S.D. Foster’s A Hollow Cube is a Lonely Space

Other books:

Carlton Mellick’s Fantastic Orgy and I Knocked Up Satan’s Daughter

Mykle Hansen’s Hooray for Death!

Andersen Prunty’s The Driver’s Guide to Hitting Pedestrians

Sam Pink’s The No Hellos Diet

Douglas Lain’s Fall into Time and Wave of Mutilation

David W. Barbee’s A Town Called Suckhole

Jordan Krall’s Beyond the Valley of the Apocalypse Donkeys

Andrew Goldfarb’s Hypno-Hog’s Moonshine Monster Jamboree

The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction (Issue Five)

Comment with a link if I missed any other new books.

The long-awaited new issue of my literary journal, Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens is now available.

Includes stories by Laird Hunt, D. Harlan Wilson, Cameron Pierce, Amanda Billings, Kirk Jones, Andrew W. Adams, Amber Sparks, and a novella by Kirsten Alene. Contains book reviews of Steve Lowe’s Muscle Memory and Shane Jones’s A Cake Appeared.

Cover photo by Cameron Pierce and Kirsten Alene.

Published by Lazy Fascist Press (an imprint of Eraserhead Press).

$6.95

Click here for more info.

This will be my last issue as the journal’s editor-in-chief. Sam Reeve, who was my former associate editor, will be taking over for me. I will continue to work on the journal as a contributing editor, doing things like proofreading, layout, and perhaps reading submissions that Sam is on the fence about.

My new book is now available.

A tour-de-force. A harrowing comic masterpiece. A timely novel that transcends the times. An instant American classic. This is what critics are not saying about Bradley Sands’ latest magnum opus, Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel.

A novel in three parts, Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel is the story of one boy detective, the worst ninja in the world, and the great American fast food wars. It is a novel of loss, destruction, and–incredibly–genuine hope.

Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel contains three classic Bradley Sands novellas: “Frankie Nougat and the Case of the Missing Heart,” “Cheesequake Smash-Up,” and “Apocalypse Ninja.”

Praise for Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel:

“Bradley Sands has succeeded where all other novelists have failed: he has written the Great American Novel. Martin Amis came close to beating him to the punch a few years ago, but he accidentally wrote his novel on the wrong body of land and has been crying like a little girl ever since. If you have any compassion in your heart, end Martin Amis’s sorrow with the joy of Sands’s brilliant American prose. But be sure to read Please Do Not Shoot Me In the Face before giving it away forever—Amis has never returned a book in his life.”
—Bradley Sands, author of Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy

“This is a book for anyone who has ever hated someone. This is a book for anyone who has ever wanted to break into someone’s house while they were sleeping, wrap a book around your fist, and punch that asshole in the throat until they’re dead. This is that kind of book.”
—Bradley Sands, author of Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You

“In Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face, Bradley Sands uses literary sleight of hand to miraculously create a novel out of three novellas. The novella, “Apocalypse Ninja,” achieves the grand feat of being the stupidest thing ever written. With shuriken-sharp writing, Sands fulfills mankind’s greatest unconscious desire without even pooping his pants.”
—Bradley Sands, author of My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes!

Click here to buy Please Do Not Shoot Me in the Face: A Novel

Welcome to the new version of my website. I have redesigned it so this blog can appear on this front page. My evil plan for doing so is to get people to actually visit my webpage. Formerly, my web page looked super-awesome due to the web designing skilz of my pal, James Taintor. Unfortunately, it rarely received internet traffic because I rarely made changes to it. The existence of this blog is my attempt at remedying that. Also, this page may not look as super-awesome as it used to, but it will return to super-awesomeness sometime in the future when my pal can find the time to redesign it so it resembles the former design.

Anyway…I love blogging. A few years ago, I wrote a blog entry nearly every day. That was fairly time consuming and I did not get a lot of fiction writing done because of it. After a while, the excitement of writing blogs (along with reading and commenting on the blogs of others) dissipated. I believe this was due to the majority of the bloggers who I read nearly abandoning their personal blogs to write for a collaborative blog about literature. That blog is a great one, but the bloggers that I liked to read mostly stopped writing personal entries about themselves and started writing articles about other things. Now I realize that I much preferred the personal entries and that’s what excited me about reading other people’s blogs in the first place.

So I lost interest in blogging and almost stopped doing it entirely. Now this will change. Although I don’t have the time to blog every day, I will return to doing it on a frequent basis. I also recently started writing for Bizarro Central, which was a forum until recently. Now, they have done a complete overhaul and changed it into a collaborative blog that contains articles intended for readers of bizarro fiction.

Here are some links to the articles that I’ve written for it:

The Series Finale of Smallville Reveals the TRUTH about Judgment Day, AKA October 21st (I wrote this for Bizarro Central but ended up posting it on my old blog because Bizarro Central’s redesign launched after October 21st)

Bizarro vs Children’s Fantasy

Adventure Games and the Training of the Creative Writer

The Finest Sequel in the History of Cinema

I will be writing posts for the site on a weekly basis concerning various subjects

As far as this site, my posts will concern more personal things, so please come back once in a while to check it out.

Bradley’s new book, Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You, is now available from Lazy Fascist Press (an imprint of Eraserhead Press).

What the crap is Arnold Schwarzenegger doing on the cover of Rico Slade’s book? This is Rico Slade’s goddamn book. Rico Slade is not a body builder, an actor, or a governor. Rico Slade is an action hero.